The Nicholas Franklin Pierce Memorial Foundation

By Leigh Ann Speake

February, 2016

Skiing in Vail is always an emotional experience for me.  Our trip to Vail during Christmas break of 1999 was the last family ski trip we took before Nick went on to hit the slopes in Heaven.  It was also the last time mom skied, the last time we skied as a family.  After that trip it was 10 years before I went skiing again.  Saying I took a break to get married and have kids is a convenient excuse, but the reality is that I was just too sad to want to go without Nick.  It felt wrong somehow to go and enjoy something that he wasn’t able to do anymore, and I felt like I would write over and forget the memories if I made new ones in the same places.  This is how I felt for a long time after he died, but with most places I didn’t have the choice to avoid them. 

In 2009 I returned to Vail with some wonderful friends, and I realized that I had forgotten how much I loved skiing, especially in this place.  It was really tough at times, knowing that the last time I skied certain slopes that Nick was right beside me, but it was also amazing being able to feel that close to him when he had been gone for so long, having a place to remember so vividly the fun we had together.  On that 2009 trip I think Dad & I both cried all the way down Blue Ox, one of Nick’s favorite runs. 

Remembering laughing until tears were frozen to my cheeks as Nick, Brandon & I walked through Vail Village, walking the same streets, and picturing him there all those years ago, I was surprised to find was actually a good feeling, and only slightly as sad as I thought it would be.  Now every time I visit Vail I feel like I can almost see him, hear his voice laughing or imitating some famous person, taste the snow dust from his skis as he pulled some turkey little brother move and sprayed me with a sliding stop.  This is one of the places I feel the closest to him because I don’t have that many memories here without him to overwrite the ones we made together. 

It is with all of these thoughts that I completely appreciate and love every minute of being in this place, of skiing down the slopes that we shared on that last family ski trip.  Now, as Dad, Caitlin & I get to share this place again, I am thankful to have these kinds of memories with my family, both as a child and now as an adult.  Only after many years did I finally realize that the memories don’t fade as easily as I feared.  After Dad’s, Caitlin’s & my ski trip to Telluride last winter came so close to ending in tragedy for both Dad (heart attack) & Caitlin (cliff crash), I will not be taking any of this special time we have together for granted.  I am so thankful for every moment we have together, for every memory we make together.